In Defense of a Bad Mood

This morning, at a doctor's office, a crying baby annoyed me. I recognized this state of mind, and as odd as it sounds, I thought there might be a helpful reason for my annoyance.

I checked in with my emotions and found rigidity and righteousness.

The mere acknowledgment of these feelings didn't shift how I felt completely, but I managed to show the mother some sympathy with a half-smile and not come across as a total jerk. Whew!

Feeling rigid and righteous isn’t wrong. Experience has taught me that my left brain was helping me address a need or helping me cope.

I was about to get a painful injection, and being rigid would help me endure while feeling righteous was helping me avoid missing my own mom and getting teary. At that moment, I didn't want to open my heart and feel compassion because it would have made a mom-less day more difficult. It was enough that I could pretend to be compassionate and finish my appointment.

I wouldn’t want to feel rigid and righteous long-term. That would be awful.

My Mind-Body work helped me develop an on-the-fly skill to create emotional balance, which I’d employ after the injection. I knew I wouldn’t feel this way for long. My bad moon didn't distress me, like it had in the past.

I've seen several memes lately about the importance of remaining open and compassionate despite what might be going on in the world.

I don't think that's such a good idea.

Being open and compassionate all the time leaves us vulnerable to abuse, danger, depression, anxiety, and bursting into tears when we'd rather wait until we get home. I’ve cried in public, for sure, but I’d rather not make it a habit.

Just like our physical hearts, our metaphorical hearts also need valves. Sometimes, our right brain sympathies recede to help us overcome challenges. And, by avoiding harsh self-judgment, we replenish our compassion reserves more readily.

After my appointment, I had a lovely conversation with a taxi driver about the ancient people of the area and the magic they left for us to discover. Leaving the both of us lost in the flow of time and happily connected through our creative and limitless right brains.