How My ADHD Improved My Partner's Memory
A few years back, I observed an interesting pattern in my partner, Mark. When we vacationed in Mexico, his memory seemed to improve. It wasn't the relaxation that did it. Despite loving Mexico, being away from our clients caused him significant anxiety due to our home caretaking business. He was constantly worried that something might go wrong, and this made him feel miserable.
When his memory began to decline, we sold our company. This experience made me realize that improving his health required more than just relaxation or less busyness. We dedicated two years to renovating a fixer-upper, hoping this project would help. Yet, his memory issues persisted. Although he was perfectly capable of renovating a house, it was the small things, like repeatedly asking when a friend was coming to dinner, that concerned me.
The turning point came when we returned to Mexico, and I noticed his memory improved again. Persuading him to see a neurologist led to a Parkinson's diagnosis, and that's when I made the connection. The key was walking. This is the only activity that generates the chemicals his Parkinson's-affected brain needs. No drug or any other form of exercise can produce what his brain requires. Only walking can.
We now live in Mexico and our finished fixer-upper is yet to be sold. I pretty much dragged us here because that’s what his brain needed. My ADHD helped me recognize the pattern - his improved memory while in Mexico - which turned out to be just what his brain needed.
Reflecting on this experience, I see how my ADHD identifies patterns and compels me to act. Throughout my life, I've noticed patterns, devised solutions, and felt a strong urge to take action. Given my sensitive body and mind, the consequences of not being listened to and/or not acting have been painful. Mark loves to walk in Mexico. With the plan complete, he naturally walks several times a day because it produces happy dopamine.
I'm not sure if I’d have noticed this pattern without ADHD, but I do know I've observed many patterns that could have made a significant difference had I voiced them or if they were acknowledged. I wasn’t going to quibble with Mark’s memory at stake.